guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
