Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
