you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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