She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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