Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
