I'm really into asian looking animals
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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