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can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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