I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
