Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
