Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
