God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
