Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
