first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
