Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
