Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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