She's JV to your varsity
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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