My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
