its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i think i just lost a toe
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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