she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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