Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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