Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
