im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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