just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
