By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
