I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
