dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
