just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
