I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
