All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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