I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
