It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
