I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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