Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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