brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
