i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
