some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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