Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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