Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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