Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
