he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
