It's Friday. Sex?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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