Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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