STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
