Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
