my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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