Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I see more hoeing in ur future
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