EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Someone signed my nipple.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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