There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
