is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
