Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
