im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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